This Fat Girl don't care!

I try not to read the Daily Mail like chips dipped in butter it's just not good for you, with it's incessant too fat, too thin, I'm perfect, I'm not, today we love them tomorrow we hate them sidebar of shame.  This paper is most read paper for women yet it promotes body hatred in a major way and has become a bit like the Katie Hopkins of the newspaper world

In today's gem the headline  screams: Why are today's young women so unashamed about being so fat? and the "horrified" Linda Kelsey who I presume has written this delightful piece to stop her from gouging her own eyes out from the horrendous site of young WOMEN (I note she doesn't seem to mention the legions of less than slender men who unveil come summer) who are going about their business delightfully comfortable, having fun and wearing what the fuck they like!

In her article which is full of fat shaming and full of concern for fat people's health, whilst never mentioning there are plenty of thin people who are unhealthy.  She says things like: "lumpen individuals", "super sausage of overhanging belly" and "an extra bottom hanging bellow" but what seems to upset her is that these women don't seem to give a damn and dare be fat, eat a bag of crisps in public and unlike Ms Kelsey don't cut back the minute that their jeans get tight.

The whole piece screams a bit of the I am paid to be controversial and in some ways I don't really want to give it any more thought than it deserves which is to be tomorrows chip papers, but I worry that it reinforces that all fat people are lazy and unhealthy and yes some are but then so are some thin people.

As a fat woman I am trying to be healthier but is it to lose weight no not really it is so I feel good in my mind, so I am properly fed and that my nearly 40 year old engine keeps ticking over, and no I am not super confident but I have worked to know I can wear body con and look good and I am working on my confidence to wear a bikini because who doesn't want to feel the sun on their tum and generally I am working on being the most confident, healthy version of me I can be who doesn't deny herself for 3 weeks then binge on chocolate inhaling it without tasting it then hating myself and feeling like a failure.

So my final answer to this piece is a picture of the beautiful, voluptuous and fat Tess Munster rocking it in a bikini as beautifully as anyone else without an once of fuck given and my ambition is to rock a bikini as well as her one day and if it horrifies Lesley Kelsey all the freakin better.

Take a look at her eyes there real - They're Real Eyeliner Review.

A few days ago I was lucky enough to be invited to a product display of the new They're Real gel eyeliner, held by Benefit in Swansea, Debenhams.   It was lovely to get a blogger event this far west as they tend to only be in Cardiff if there in Wales at all.

When I arrived it was manic at all the counters as Prom Season is well and truely upon us and I must say while I milled around I watched the artists putting the make on the girls and they looked stunning.  Eventually I was taken to a back room by one of the benefit girls and put in their group make up room that was set out for the event.

I was early so no one else was there so I read through the leaflet  given and Benefit were making some pretty big claims stating the Accuflex tip made for more stable application and glides across the curve of the eyelid and had maximum control from every angle.  Hmmm we'll see I thought.

After a wait for other people to arrive the ladies came in demonstrated how to use the product then let us play.  So what did I think after initial thoughts that I am not going to be able to use that as the tip was unlike any I had used before.  It looks a bit like a art pen and you squeeze the product on like on a concealer pen, I can tell you that in my opinion it is a great product it did glide on easily creating a nice dark proper black line.  Even though i was scared of its gel formula having had disasters in the past with gel, it is quick drying and a little does go a long way.  I know that it did make my eyes look bigger as claimed by benefit but to be honest I think all eyeliner does that for me but the claim that it is easy to put on is true as even this clumsy fool managed her cats eyes!

We were then ready for photos which is based on the ad campaign of Roxie the diamond thief being arrested then slipping her handcuffs so her eyeliner is photo ready for her mug shot.  

Bitch face in my mugshot.

Goodie bags containing the They're Real Range were given that contained a mini mascara and eyeliner, and I think a full size remover.  

A bit of a moan is a lot of the Bloggers who confirmed they would attend didn't which was a shame for the Benefit Girls who had worked hard to put on this event as they wanted to do something in Wales that wasn't in Cardiff as they felt that there was not a lot for Bloggers in this area, and I know I complain about this, so in general I suppose what I am saying is us Bloggers who don't live in London, can't complain everything is in London if we don't bother to turn up to events in our own area.

Finally I suppose would I buy this product at £18.50 it is certainly probably double what I pay for my usual liner.  However, it provides great control, a lovely black line and was easy to do flicks with and yes I walked out of the event buying a eyeliner at the counter on my way out!
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OOTD - Hide The Mullet

This was not the outfit I had initially planned but my hair is such a mullet, which wasn't even a good look in the 80's for footballers and kids TV presenters that a bandanna was the only way I could go and as I have a limited choice of these my initial outfit just didn't match it.

It was a casual day I was trotting around then going into Swansea for a Benefit Bloggers event, so I slipped on a pink jumper which is surprisingly cool and my trusty high waisted, slim leg Jeans which are both from Simply Be.  I cannot rave about these Jeans enough they fit me well, the high waist means no hoiking them all day and I think the legs are nice and slim, my only complaint is they do fade a bit quickly.

I hid my rather hideous hair (Can't wit for my haircut in 2 weeks) which is all mullety in a cherry print Bandanna from Dolly Cool which made me feel faintly Rosie the Riveter esque, hence my silly pose.

Then went on my Mario mushroom earrings that I found in a shop called Qu'tse in the Chinatown Market on Charring Cross Road.  I love these earrings and I wear them as often as possible as they cheer me up and I just love Kawaii stuff.

Finally I popped my new Primark wedges on my trotters, I love these they are very comfy, have bows and cost £6.00.

If you like any of what I am wearing you can find it here:

Jumper - Simply Be

Jeans - Simply Be

Bandanna - Dolly Cool

Earrings - Qu'tse

Shoes - Primark

The State I'm In.

I am in a state of conflict about rejoining Slimming World, I don't want to be thin and probably never will be but through being unhappy living in Wales and seeking comfort in all the fast food and chocolate Swansea has had to offer I am feeling sluggish, unhealthy and yes would like to fit into some of my pretty dresses that don't fit.

My final motivation is being recalled for my blood test, I had a Ocular Melanoma about 6 years ago it was treated and I go once a year for a check up at Barts, no biggie!  I also have to have blood tests once every 6 months which checks for other cancers and my Liver Function Test has come back inconclusive and in honesty I am shitting it as the common secondary cancer is Liver Cancer and I can't help feeling my crappy diet has had a helping hand in making this test come back inconclusive and me having to go for a second blood test.

I am trying to get loads of nutrients in through juicing and upping my fruits and veg intake, but am struggling to remember how to eat healthily really, so feel something like Slimming World could help, although I know Slimming World ers that juiced fruit is a syn!

However, here's the part I'm uncomfortable with sitting there talking about being fat like it is a terrible thing and all the fat shamery that goes with diet clubs, but I am struggling with eating healthily and ideas.

Do I just look on websites about nutrition and try and devise my own rules, or do I submit to a organised club with achievable healthy eating?  Has anyone else joined a diet club or Slimming World and what is your experience?

Fabulous Flamingos!

I love Summer it makes everything seem somehow better and like anything is possible, I remember being a teenager and seeing the first leaf fall one year and ever the dramatist thinking:  "this is it, nothing will be as good again!" a single tear trickling down my face.

This year I am particularly impressed by the Pineapple Prints that are about but the Flamingos, be still my beating heart!  I love the kitschness of them, they remind me of 1950's Vegas and cocktails with cherries on top!

I am particularly in lust with this beauty by Uncommon Nonsense and have it earmarked for my friends 30th Birthday Bash.

Also making my heart beat faster is the Palm Bling Range by the fabulous Black heart Creatives.  I have already indulged in a Neon Yellow Pineapple Necklace but these Flamingos are also making my wallet itch and a pair of drop earring would compliment the dress nicely I think!  Although the Palm Bling Earrings themselves would also be lovely!

 I am also having a bit of a internal struggle with myself over the Fatkini, I have seen loads of Blogger Babes totally rocking theirs but I am not sure I feel ready to push this boundary as despite feeling confident I worry I am too bumpy, fat and hairy, despite knowing I'm not, also I look very different to last time I wore a Bikini back in 1996!  But if I get there this Liz McClarnon for Simply Be is lush and despite her involvement in Atomic Kitten(Sorry any fans just not my taste), I think her swimwear looks lovely.

So what Prints make you think Summer and have you seen any cool Flamingo stuff and if so where?

39 before 40!

So as you may have seen I recently celebrated my 39th Birthday, so that means I hit the dizzying heights of 40 next year (I always imagined I'd be so much more grown up by 40)  So I thought to celebrate this momentous occasion I would set myself 39 goals and challenges, some of which are scary arse big and others are ridiculously small.

So without further ago I present to you my 39 things I want to do or achieve by 40 and maybe a few days.

1. To eat fruit and veg every day - Cos if I'm honest I don't and it can't be good for me to eat like a 15 year old at my advanced age.
2. To move back home, last year I moved to Swansea to be with my Mum following my Dad dying and it would be fair to say I don't love it (Sorry Swansea)  Now Mum says she will move back to Kent, we can all go back.
3. To get a new job (necessary for the move to Kent)
4. *Disclaimer*  I am not a dieter and have no intention of dieting properly, but a goal of mine is to get back into my Limb dresses, as I love them and they cost loads and currently don't fit my body as I may have been feeding my unhappiness in Swansea.
5. Have a Brit Pop themed 40th Birthday Party.
6. To start Burlesque Classes again.
7. To update my Blog at least 6 times a month.
8. Finally finish a shitty first draft of my book I have been writing like forever.
9. Go back to Zumba, as it was fun and good exercise.
10. Get better at accessorizing, as I can do bags and shoes but I struggle with belts and jewelry at times and I do get a little bit green eyed at other Blogger Babes brilliance at this.   
11. To get something from the Blackheart Creatives Live Fast Die Yum collection.
12. I think I should probably learn to drive as I have been trying to learn for like 19 years on and off, so I think it might be time.
13. To feel better and healthier at 40 than I did at 39.
14. Master putting on false eyelashes
15. Following on from False eyelashes, I would love to perfect Cats eye eyeliner flicks.
16. Get my 1/4 sleeve done.
17. Do something to raise money for charity.
18. To have a photoshoot, as generally I feel awkward and most unpretty in photos and I would love a kick ass set that I feel proud of.
19. To go to London more, as it is only down the road and when I lived in Kent before I only went for hospital appointments or with work.
20. Go for afternoon tea with my girly friends (well I am Twee)
21. Take more photos.
22. There is a bit of a poser in me, deep down and I would like to do some Plus Size Modelling.
23. To be more of a positive person - as I can be a bit negative and oh things are only gonna get worse.
24. See my brother's children, as he has 2 lovely children I have yet to see, as he lives in Norwich and I lived in Kent and then Swansea.
25. Whilst I'm at it, to be a better Aunty as I am a bit haphazard with Birthdays and the like (Sorry kids)
26. Grow a herb garden.
27. Get a Wonder Woman Print Dress
28. As a bit of a foodie I would like to eat in a Michelin Star Restaurant.
29. To wear a pair of shorts, as I don't think I have worn a pair since I was a kid
30. Start Saving to go to the Winter Olympics in South Korea.
31. Have a midnight picnic on the beach.
32. Go on the Harry Potter Studio tour (Would love go Harry Potter World at Universal but don't think I can afford this before I am 40, maybe for the 49 before 50)
33. Find a wig that suits me
34. Sort my garden out so it is a lovely Oasis, rather than a hideous eye sore.
35. Visit Deal Castle, as I have lived there mainly since I was 15 and have never been.
36. Go to Atomic Burgers in Bristol.
37. Visit the National Portrait Gallery.
38. Go to Harrods, cos well I have never been and feel like I should see it once.
39. To actually go to a Bloggers Meet Up and meet some of the most stylish people I know in the flesh

I know they are not the most earth shattering goals, but I wanted things that were achievable in the space of the year, and of course I still want to go to places like Tokyo and Harry Potter World.

So what about you is there anything you want or feel like you should have achieved by 40?  Or is it just another bloody number?

Birthday Bliss!

I have been a very bad blogger (Even with this I had planned a lot of OOTD posts and to write it just after my Birthday, but y'know life) with very few posts, but as I think I mentioned in my last post I had been wallowing in the pit of black sadness that I was wearing like a big ol' coat in the middle of winter that I couldn't take off. However, to shake me out of this a bit was my Birthday and Mamma treated me and the Hub to go to London to see Wicked and stay for 2 nights, which I have to say lifted the spirits!

We stayed at The Travelodge, Covent Garden which was an amazing location just off Dury Lane on High Holborn (round the corner from The Diner on Shaftsbury Avenue)  I liked the Travellodge a lot sure it was basic but it was clean, comfortable and surprisingly quiet with a fantastic view.

After a long train journey from Port Talbot we headed straight over and ate at The Diner before checking in.  I have long been jealous when I read the London based bloggers blogs and tweets about The Diner, so I indulged in a Diablo Burger, The Hub had some kind of pulled Pork topped Burger extravaganza and a shared order of Chilli cheese fries and Tator Tots, and a Colonel Parker, which is a bourbon, with vanilla and chocolate ice cream and peanut butter milkshake, heaven in a glass for me.

A lot of pics of Food I know but the girl loves food

Then after checking in I demanded we did the tourist thing, as I had never done a Ghost Tour or the London Eye as living quite near in Kent and spending a lot of time in London as a kid, I never felt I needed to, but I used my Wowchers and Cereal Box coupons and did this, and it was fun! Although on a side note I would never pay full for The London Eye as although the view is spectacular I think what would have been £40.00 for 2 adults for under an hour is steep.

Then it was my Birthday we went to Chinatown bought cool cakes, and explored the Chinatown market where we bought some cool Hello Kitty stuff and earrings.  If you are into Kawaii stuff I can highly recommend, it is in the Chinatown Market on Charring Cross Road and called Qu'tse.

Then I had a mooch round Covent Garden and bought some Converse and Mel shoes which I will feature soon, before heading over to Victoria to see Wicked, which was amazing and the Art Deco of the Apollo Victoria was beautiful and the emerald neon that was decorating the place really complimented the architecture.

On the Saturday we Geeked it up at The Natural History Museum, which as well as being free has so many amazing exhibits but if I am honest I was just as awestruck by the architecture which is so Gothic and has so much attention to detail.

Darwin - The Daddy of Evolution

The Dino star of the show!

 Then we returned back to Wales, I was happy to be home with the Dog but sad to leave London, it really is an amazing vibrant city and I want to spend more time there.

What about you guys are you London lovers or does it leave you a bit meh!  Let me know your top tips and how you spend your time cos I am dead nosey.